Solutions to Home Based Business and Family Frustrations

by Angela L. Allen

Making the change from working a "traditional" job to launching your ownhome based business can be difficult. It is easy to remember what makes itdifficult for us -- we are working on marketing plans, designing web-pages(possibly for the first time), organizing that little corner of a room forbusiness use, getting creative with financing, learning new skills,re-thinking our "professional identity", etc. What is NOT so easy toremember that the spouse/significant other and the children are alsoaffected by our choice.

Many of you MADE the decision to go "home-based" to improve your quality offamily life and your interaction with those special people. But, once thedecision is made, it's often difficult to remember your reasoning,especially when the three-year-old interrupts you for the fourth time infive minutes to "look" at that same something - AGAIN.

Before you lose your cool or (worse yet) decide that the home-based ventureis impossible, try a few of the tips below:

Communicate

Tell the children about your decision, and that they are a big part of whyyou want to work from home. Even the youngest child understands that youwant to be closer to them. Let them know that it's going to be tough work,and it will require sacrifices, but that they are worth it.

Keep them informed

Keep the family informed of what you are doing. My own sons came to me andasked (I should have had the forethought to tell them) because their friendsasked them what I did all day at home. All they knew was that I worked "onthe computer." Make sure that they understand, in simple terms, what you doand why. Make them comfortable answering questions by peers.

Besides, focusing your business description so a child can understand it isa wonderful way to define your business when creating your own marketingmaterials and networking with adults!

Share the success

Let them share the excitement when you land your first contract, or makeyour first sale. My own children, who had been bemoaning the fact that I was"always working on that computer," gave me ecstatic "High-fives" when I toldthem that I'd landed my first contract. After that, they would check in tosee if I had anymore clients or prospects and would inquire about myproject's progress. Talk about built-in external motivation!

Ask for their opinions

Let your family know that you value their opinions, not just with familyissues, but on a business level. Make the questions age-appropriate.

If you are designing a graphic for a client, and have narrowed the shadesof blue to two that you like, let the youngest decide WHICH of the two isprettiest - and use their suggestion.
With older children, you can let them read a copy of your text and askthem for their advice on the choice between two "ways" of saying something -which adjectives do they prefer, which are more vivid, and why?
My 13-year old listened as I complained that I couldn't properly relaywhat I wanted in my logo design to an on-line graphic artist. My son askedme to sketch it. I did and he got on a paint program on the computer andcreated a great logo - exactly as I had described. I sent it to the designerto "clean up" the rough edges and it's the one I use today. My son and I areboth quite proud of that fact!
Adolescents can also be "hired help" for filing, copying and scanning. Pay them a base salary for work they do well and keep the records to minimizeyour taxes at year-end.
Discuss your "approach" on a project with your spouse or significant other and listen to their opinions.

Working from home can be a solitary existence, pull in some outside advice -and begin with the people on the other side of your office door.

Make business hours

Begin with as few hours a day "locked away" as possible - and expand them asyou need to so the children become "gently" accustomed to you being "offlimits" certain hours of the day.

Explain that you are not available if the door is closed and are available if it is open.

Then be sure that the door is open occasionally. When you are filing anddoing routine tasks, be available. Reserve the closed door for creative andintensive work when you cannot tolerate interruptions.

When it's closed, a good rule of thumb is: "If it's not something that you would have phoned me about when I worked in my office outside the home,don't knock."

Keep a pad of paper near your door for "non-essential" situations to berecorded. When you open your door, review the paper and discuss it with thefamily member that posted it.

Help them to understand

When my 11-year-old became frustrated because I could not be interruptedwhile doing creative work on product descriptions for a web-site, I decidedto show him why I needed the uninterrupted time. He loves writing poetry, soI asked him to write a poem for me. Once he started, I kept calling him forthis or that reason - all non-essential - until he became quite frustrated.Then I sat down with him and asked him what was wrong. He told me he wasangry because I kept interrupting him. He said he would start to writesomething, and before he could get it down, I'd interrupt him and he wouldlose his train of thought. About that point he looked at me and a light bulbwent off. I asked him if he now understood why I became frustrated when heinterrupted me. He smiled and nodded. He has been much more thoughtful aboutunnecessary interruptions since that little "exercise".

Have designated meal times

Enjoy meal-times with your family - all THREE meals. Begin your day with anun-rushed breakfast, visit with your favorite people, and nourish all of youfor a busy day. Close up shop for lunch at the same time each day and spendthat time with the children. And finish your work in time to close up shopfor the evening and eat dinner with the family.

Have family time

From dinner time until the kids are in bed, spend that time with them. Yes,you are swamped! ...That contract is just "hanging there" waiting for you...There is more marketing to be done... You need to check your e-mail... Theoffice line is ringing... etc.

So - invest in an answering machine for the office phone, power down thecomputer, and CLOSE THE DOOR to your office from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Enjoy yourfamily! Sure, you can return to work after the little ones are in bed if youmust, but don't get so involved in your business life that you forget YOURlife.

And remember: If the family sees you working, understands what you do, andis asked to help, then what you do when you are "locked away" becomes lessof a mystery. And THEY become more accommodating!

Angela L. Allen lives with her three children on a 25 acre farm in Kentucky where she runs her home based business, CumberlanDunes Consulting Services, offering affordable small and home-based business consulting, marketing and virtual assistance to help others realize their dream of working forthemselves.

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